Excitement is good in general. But when you promise to do something for others, be careful. Because it is so tempting to make the unrealistic claims. If you promise an ultra-fast service, provide it as per the timeframe. And if you want to account for possible delays, do it in advance.
Why? See, if you show confidence or positivity, that is great for raising morale.
Still, miscalculations can happen, with or without any warnings. So, the thumb-rules state that you should state a realistic goal, with a real-life schedule. If the work gets done sooner, it would be awesome for every party involved.
Even if the final results experience delays, you can manage them.
Is over-promising a habit?
Of course, you might over-promise without realising it. This can happen purely out of habit. So, you cannot start saying a clear polite No in one night. Yes, you might be eager to pursue 'Perfectionism' or 'Quality'. Yet, you should know when not to continue.
Learn to stop. Then, share your actual skills and requirements with others.
Removing any potential distractions by being clear about your limits, is a must. When you make too many promises, the risk of under-delivering increases for each promise. In fact, once you say a polite but honest No; many individuals might be okay with this.
A Symptom of Deeper Insecurities
Another factor related to over-promising could be your insecurities.
Now, insecurities at a safe limit are good for you. Because every group of humans tends to develop its own set of political or interpersonal dynamic. So, your doubts, fears or insecurities try to warn you about the potential judgements or threats.
Sadly, too many insecurities can go beyond alerting you about the threats. If you cannot regulate your innermost anxieties, your behaviour can undergo many changes.
Consider this: you might be afraid that your competitors would steal your clients.
As a result, you promise too many unrealistic features or services. Feeling threatened by the strengths of others is a natural response within you and me. While we are social animals, the society itself has some questionable effects on our world-views.
And we live in this age of hyper-active rat races. Efficiency is a gorgeous concept for the robots and the drilling equipment. Still, human being is such a complex entity, that a blind pursuit of efficiency can ruin your health.
So, over-promising could be a mere symptom of a deeper underlying problem.
Sure, you can say, I won't make unrealistic promises any longer. But the chances are, you will relapse. The reasons? The root cause is staying unsolved.
Personal Confessions: My Device Usage Crisis
Well, the phrase 'deeper issues' is over-used anyway.
So, you might think that it is no longer relevant. I used to think so. The case was related to my use of electronic gadgets. When you work as a freelancer or digital creator, the notifications can drive you insane. At least in the beginning, it is tough to manage your roles or activities.
What did I do then?
Played video games, listened to music, read news or kept scrolling on social media. Escapism? Yes, I have been there.
Interestingly enough, uninstalling the apps does not help. Take it from me. Perhaps, such physical solutions have worked for others; but they did not last longer in my case. Then, upon a closer inspection of my daily journals, I found some patterns.
I don't know if the list mentioned below could explain any underlying issues with precision. But I found a solution which resulted from this list.
- I would unlock my phone immediately after waking up in the morning.
- It did not matter if I had started with social media, video games, news or music.
- Thus, removing just one of them was more of a temporary solution.
- There was always something 'new' to do on my devices.
- I used to check my phone ten times even while eating my meals.
- Setting the time-limits did not work. Because once in a while, I could deviate my few minutes anyway. This became frustrating over a period.
Of course, more items could be listed. But you get the general theme. It was not about the duration spent on the distractions. And it was not related to the 'fun' I had with that infotainment.
The real problem, which hindered my productivity, was my lack of intention. Here, lack of intention means that I was using my devices without a solid objective.
To control the chain's origin, I became more Goal-oriented
Yes, to control the habit, you need to predict and overcome the triggers. But my work is literally depending on my smartphone and laptop. So, the notifications are valuable to me in a way. Thus, switching off my devices or keeping them in the drawers had been impossible.
This section might seem like another 'change mindset' advice. So, let me be clear about this idea.
When you want to become Goal-oriented, just thinking a lot about something is not enough. Of course, every person is free to believe whatever s/he wants to believe. But I have benefitted from a more measurable and pen-paper approach.
Here you go:
- Write down a List of your most favourite Apps, Shows or Media Forms.
- On another paper, write down the general time of the day when you use your device.
- On a separate page, write down all the reasons for which you use your devices.
- On a cardboard, stamp or a label; write down your 3 main goals of your current financial year.
- Finally, create a separate list of activities which are directly interrupted by your device usage.
So, you get the theme: we need to understand our behaviour, needs and motivations. Only after you know what happens to your 24 hours day, you can manage this better.
Precautions for Using this Approach
And this approach has very little to do with an artificial sense of progress. You are not going to use tick marks or erasers. Because you don't want to relapse. Thus, you need an extra awareness about all of your triggers and timings all the time.
Note that, you don't need to uninstall any app. You have enjoyed this infotainment. So, it is still like a hobby to you. And you are not here to suppress your interests or anything like that. What you want to do is complete your promised tasks.
Hence, reducing your device usage to a safe limit is enough. Yes, playing video games or surfing the web might be okay if you have a schedule to follow. Again, this is not about the time alone. You want to know what is going on in the 24 hours of your day. But if you rely on time-limits alone, you will go back to your old habits in no time.
Styles of Using The Lists
Style 1. Usage vs. Goals
First, see the reasons you use your devices for. That is List 3 from above. Then, find which apps you use for those reasons (List 1). Finally, check if your top reasons and favourite apps are related to your goals ( List 4 ).
Style 2. Usage vs. Quality of Life
Start with List 2 to see when you use your devices. Then, see the List 5 to check how your eating habits, hygiene and resting habits are affected by these interruptions. Finally, study which of your Favourite Apps (List 1) are directly damaging your sleep, breakfast and obligatory tasks or work.
Style 3. Activities vs. Long-Term Value
Study all 5 Lists. Then ask yourself just one simple question:
How does your Device Usage align with your Long-Term Life Plans?
Explanation for this question can be in multiple ways. For simplicity, here is my example.
"There was an Online Game. I was not good at it, but it was fun. With my squad or guild, I would participate in special group events. We would compete to increase our scores, obtain better equipment and explore the open world map.
But did that matter? How is that game, which depends on the servers, going to last as long as I do?
No matter how many challenges we complete, what was the value of our efforts? If tomorrow that game stops working, would it even matter?"
I cannot share the full thought process here. But I tried using it for 15 minutes a day. Every time, some special event would pop up. So, the 15 minutes time limit did not work for long.
Instead, I stopped using many features in the game. Now, I use it for 4 to 10 minutes, just for 1 or 2 multiplayer matches.
I kept repeating quite similar thought process with the social media apps and others infotainment of mine. Yes, you can predict a detachment level approach after a while. But it was less about meditation or anything like that.
This was more about admitting the basic fact:
"It is fine to focus on a few fun parts of the electronic gadgets. And the online services. Provided that I don't start escaping from my Life Plans or related duties."
The moral of the story is: Know exactly Why you seek joy out of the digital distractions. Then, learn to embrace your digital life, watching out for how your long-term plans are affected by it, on a regular and systematic basis.
What are the other factors preventing you from performing your best?
Blaming the digital tools is still an easier option common to everyone. But a lot of times, your personal life itself creates friction, instability or mood-swings affecting your capacity. And these events are not predictable.
You can soften the blow of any productivity toll, by being honest with your clients.
So, your situation will be known to them. Rescheduling might be possible. After all, various 'personal' problems are always present in our lives. Forced positivity won't be enough to handle all of those situations. Sometimes, confronting the reality is the only logical choice. It is a working solution.
Final Thoughts
Over-confidence or Desperate Over-promising could work for some humans. But everyone is better off with a realistic schedule. Thus, delivering the adequate amount or quality in the specified timeframe becomes possible.
Whether you are a professional, student or freelance service provider, rescheduling your device usage requires more work than self-satisfying forced positivity. You need to understand your relationship with your devices and your life-plans to bring it under control.
Finally, external troubles beyond your control will always be there. And you can always be honest about your 'personal' problems with others. Yes, you can be judged by some clients; but the pressure of on-time-delivery should not stop you from your other duties.
Remember:
Make realistic Promises and Timeframes. And unforeseeable forces will affect your productivity anyway.